As women, we tend to be hypercritical of ourselves and especially of our bodies. We look at social media, magazines, TV and compare ourselves to other women. What is the effect of comparison? We think they are better, which makes us feel like we’re less than enough. But who decided what this supposed golden standard is? There is a great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt; “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

So really, it’s YOU. You are the one deciding what the standard is and then deeming yourself not worthy. 

As someone whose weight has greatly fluctuated over the years, so has my body image and shame. Until the day I decided to love myself no matter where I was in the journey. 

The reality is women of all sizes struggle with body image/shame. I know women who are small and have the healthy, toned, “ideal” body and yet still struggle with body image. Women who won’t wear tank tops because they don’t like their arms, or those who won’t wear short skirts because they hate their legs or they’re embarrassed by their varicose veins. Then there are women obsessed with losing that last 5-10lbs; it consumes their life and they cannot find happiness until they reach that goal on the scale.

The moment I found love for myself, was the moment my entire life changed. There’s no handbook or proven system for you to follow. You must simply make a decision to love yourself. 

I recently did my second boudoir shoot and at the time, I was heavier than I had been in over a decade. I had recently quit smoking and that of course came with some weight gain. For a moment, I considered postponing the shoot and then I told that little voice of judgement to fuck off! Instead, I went to an adult store and found the perfect outfit for my shoot…the one that reminds me I am Fuckin’ Perfection! 

We are all flawed humans, we all have those things that bother us about ourselves, but that’s what makes us uniquely us. Your true beauty will emerge the moment you decide to love yourself wherever you are in your journey. This world would be a very boring place if all humans were alike. Celebrate your magical uniqueness and share it with everyone! I promise, you will notice a difference and so will those around you. <3

Here’s to another week of living your life by design, not by default!