When you’re about to become a grandparent…everything changes. I feel like my physical being, my perspective, my intuition, my nature, all of it is evolving. Ever since my daughter announced her pregnancy, something deep inside me began shifting. I feel more at peace and relaxed while simultaneously feeling the significance of an extra layer of responsibility and importance in becoming a grandmother that is stretching me and creating this new space to expand and grow into. Maybe it’s natural human evolution; this is my first time experiencing it. Perhaps it’s remembering how much my grandparents shaped my childhood (both good and bad). Maybe it’s witnessing the beautiful transition my daughter is making from young woman to mother. Perhaps it’s all those things and more. I can’t explain why I feel this way; it is just that I do.
Being the first-born granddaughter on both sides of my family put me in a unique position regarding relationships with my grandparents. I had them longer. I had an established relationship with them before the others came along. There is an inexplicable bond. I know, understand, and feel it, first with my niece and now with my granddaughter. I play a role of vital importance in their lives, and I take that role very seriously.
I have just learned that the egg that created my granddaughter was made inside my daughter while she was inside my womb. First off…how am I just learning this at the age of 45? And second, it all makes so much more sense now. Now I feel even stronger about the responsibility and importance of handling all the feelings and healing the trauma for my personal growth and those next generations!