I’ve been trying to find the words for this since September. Every time I began, I became overcome with emotion, overwhelmed by the gravity, and I found myself needing to step away. There’s so much to say, so many feelings involved, and yet I know there is no way I could ever fully convey it all. So I’m just going to keep it short and sweet.

On September 1st, I left MS to make my way to WA for the birth of my first granddaughter. I also knew there was a good chance I would be saying goodbye to my cousin Julia during that trip. Little did I know, it would be as soon as I arrived. Sadly, my first visit was also my last.

I have experienced more death in the last 20yrs than most people do in a lifetime. I’ve lost aunts, uncles, grandparents and many other loved ones; some older and some younger. Yet there is nothing that could have prepared me for this loss. She wasn’t just my cousin, she was a close friend. Add to that, she was the next cousin in line after me and only 3yrs younger. She was young, vibrant and full of life. Her smile and laughter would light up every room she entered, and that’s been the case since she was just a baby. She left this world with far too many unfulfilled hopes and dreams. Don’t get me wrong, she had an amazing, full and wonderful life, but unexpectedly facing your death at the age of 42 leaves you thinking about the things…all the things. Over the past 2yrs, since learning her cancer had returned, her and I had many intimate conversations about life, death and regrets. It was something I had also been thinking about. Not just because of her diagnosis, but I personally had a major health scare a week before my 45th birthday that shook me to the core and left me analyzing my own life.

So all of that to say, today is Julia’s 43rd birthday. In her memory, I wanted to take a moment to remind you all that we only have this one life.

Live it full out!

Do all the things!

Love big and loud!

Live with no regrets!

Chase your dreams!

Be present and live in the moment!

P.S. This picture is from the end of my 4mo road trip in November 2021. I was leaving WA for my next adventure and I popped into her flower shop completely unannounced. I didn’t come through the front door like a normal person, I burst in through the back door. I don’t even remember what I said, but I was loud and obnoxious as usual lol. Julia immediately yelled “TERICA! I was just thinking about you!” And rushed over to give me a hug. Even though there were many more visits, this is the last picture we took together.

Here’s to another week of living your life by design, not by default!