What if you stopped asking, “What can I buy my child?” and started asking, “What can I expose my child to?”

Because your child does not need another video game. They probably don’t need another $200 pair of shoes. They don’t need the newest phone, tablet, gaming system, headphones, or whatever shiny piece of technology is currently being marketed as essential to their happiness.

What they need is life.

They need experiences. They need people. They need perspective. They need to understand that the world is bigger than their bedroom, their school, their friend group, and whatever the algorithm is currently feeding their brain.

They need to experience what it feels like to be useful. To be needed. To contribute. To connect with someone completely different from themselves. To see that every person has a story. To understand that not everyone has the things they have.

And most importantly, to learn that being part of a community means participating in it.

So take your kids somewhere. Not another amusement park. Not another shopping trip. Not another restaurant where they stare at a device while waiting for their food.

Take them somewhere that changes them.

Take them to a homeless shelter or outreach organization.

Let them help prepare meals.

Sort donations.

Pack hygiene kits.

Hand out water.

Collect socks, blankets, toiletries, or other requested supplies.

And while you’re there, help them understand that homelessness is not a personality trait.

The person sitting in front of them is not “a homeless person.” They’re a person experiencing homelessness. There’s a difference.

Let them see the humanity instead of the stereotype. And talk afterward.

What did they notice?

What surprised them?

What assumptions did they have?

What do they think someone needs when they’re going through a difficult season?

Take them to an animal shelter.

Walk dogs.

Socialize cats.

Fold laundry.

Clean kennels.

Sort donations.

Make enrichment toys.

Read to animals.

Or simply sit with an animal who has been waiting for someone to love them.

Teach them that animals aren’t disposable. That responsibility doesn’t end when something becomes inconvenient. That vulnerable beings need advocates. And that sometimes love looks like cleaning a kennel.

Take them to a nursing home, assisted living community, or memory care facility.

Let them make crafts with residents.

Play cards.

Sing songs.

Play an instrument.

Read books.

Help with an activity.

Sit and listen.

Encourage them to ask questions.

What was life like when you were young?

What did you do for fun?

What was your first job?

What was your favorite song?

What do you wish you had known at my age?

Children need relationships with people outside their generation.

They need to hear stories that existed before TikTok. They need to understand that aging doesn’t erase someone’s identity. And they need to discover that older people aren’t just “old people.”

They’re people who have lived. Loved. Lost. Built. Failed. Learned. Survived. And have stories we desperately need to keep passing forward.

Take them to a food drive or food bank.

Let them sort food.

Pack boxes.

Collect donations.

Help distribute meals.

Or organize a neighborhood food drive.

Feeding America specifically encourages families to volunteer together and provides resources for family activities around hunger and service.

Don’t just tell them: “Some people don’t have enough food.” Talk about WHY.

Talk about wages. Housing. Unexpected emergencies. Medical bills. Single-parent households. Job loss. The cost of living. How quickly circumstances can change. Teach them that needing help isn’t a character flaw.

And maybe teach them one of the most important lessons of all: Sometimes you’re the person giving the food. Sometimes you’re the person who needs it. Life can change quickly.

Take them to a clothing drive.

Have them go through their own closets. Let them decide what they can genuinely part with. Then let them help sort and organize the donations.

And don’t turn it into: “Here are your old clothes for poor people.”

Turn it into: “Someone else gets to use something we no longer need.”

That is a very different lesson.

Find a battered women’s shelter or domestic violence organization.

This one may require more creativity because many shelters cannot have children physically volunteer onsite due to privacy and safety requirements. But your kids can still participate.

Collect requested toiletries.

Put together comfort bags.

Donate new pajamas.

Make cards.

Assemble hygiene kits.

Raise money.

Organize a supply drive.

And teach them about something we desperately need children to understand: Abuse is never love.

Control isn’t love. Fear isn’t love. Jealousy isn’t love. Someone monitoring your phone isn’t love. Someone isolating you from your friends isn’t love. Someone hurting you and then telling you it’s your fault isn’t love.

That conversation could save someone someday.

Find a foster-care organization.

Again, direct access to foster children will often be restricted for privacy and safety reasons.

But there are countless ways families can support foster youth.

Collect school supplies.

Put together birthday boxes.

Donate clothing.

Assemble care packages.

Support organizations that provide resources to foster families.

Participate in approved drives.

And teach your children that a child entering foster care didn’t do something wrong. They aren’t “bad kids.”

They’re kids. Kids who deserve safety, stability, dignity, and someone in their corner.

Take them outside and clean up their community.

Pick up trash at a park.

Clean a beach.

Plant trees.

Restore a community garden.

Pull weeds at a nonprofit.

Paint something that needs freshening up.

Help an elderly neighbor with yard work.

Take a walk through your neighborhood and ask: “What could we make better?”

Then do one thing about it. That’s civic engagement. Not just complaining about the world. Participating in improving it.

Take them somewhere where people don’t look like them.

This one might be uncomfortable… Good.

Let them meet people from different cultures.

Different socioeconomic backgrounds.

Different generations.

Different abilities.

Different religions.

Different political beliefs.

Different family structures.

Different life experiences.

Teach them that difference isn’t danger.

Teach them that unfamiliar doesn’t mean wrong.

Teach them how to ask questions without being disrespectful.

Teach them how to listen without immediately preparing a rebuttal.

Because if we want to raise adults who can function in an increasingly diverse world, they need practice interacting with people who aren’t miniature versions of themselves.

Let them see you volunteer.

This might be the most important one.

Don’t just tell your kids to care. Let them watch you care.

Let them see you give your time when nobody is paying you.

Let them see you help someone who can’t give you anything in return.

Let them see you stop to help.

Let them see you donate.

Let them see you apologize.

Let them see you pick up trash that isn’t yours.

Let them see you check on the elderly neighbor.

Let them see you foster an animal.

Let them see you bring dinner to someone going through a hard time.

Because children learn far more from what we normalize than what we lecture about. And volunteering doesn’t have to be complicated.

Points of Light has resources specifically designed for youth and families, including DIY service projects and ways to find volunteer opportunities based on location and interests.

You can also create your own family service traditions.

One Saturday a month.

One service project every season.

A birthday tradition where your child chooses a cause instead of receiving another pile of presents.

A holiday tradition where the family adopts a family, collects food, supports a shelter, or makes care packages.

A “random acts of kindness” jar.

A neighborhood cleanup.

A monthly visit to an elderly relative or community member.

A family volunteer day.

There are endless possibilities.

I think we sometimes forget that we are raising future adults.

Not just children we need to keep entertained.

Not just consumers we need to keep supplied with the newest stuff.

Not just students who need good grades.

We’re raising neighbors. Coworkers. Parents. Leaders. Friends. Citizens.

Human beings who will eventually have to navigate a world filled with suffering, inequality, loneliness, conflict, aging, poverty, illness, disability, grief, injustice, and people who desperately need someone to give a damn.

So let’s give them some practice.

Let them see the world.

Let them get uncomfortable.

Let them ask difficult questions.

Let them meet people whose lives look nothing like theirs.

Let them experience grief. Joy. Service. Connection. Responsibility. Generosity. Loss. Hope.

Let them discover that they have something valuable to contribute.

Because empathy doesn’t just magically appear when someone turns 25. Neither does compassion. Neither does civic responsibility. Neither does gratitude.

We practice these things. And children need somewhere to practice.

So yes, buy them things. There’s nothing inherently wrong with electronics, video games, toys, vacations, or nice clothes.

But if the majority of your child’s experiences revolve around consuming, don’t be surprised when they grow up believing the world exists to entertain and provide for them.

Give them something their devices can’t.

Give them people.

Give them purpose.

Give them perspective.

Give them community.

Give them experiences that make them look beyond themselves.

Because one day, that little kid who is currently asking you for the newest gaming system will become an adult standing in the middle of this very complicated world.

And I don’t want to raise children who only know how to consume it.

I want to raise humans who know how to contribute to it.

A few places to start

Points of Light offers youth and family volunteer opportunities, DIY service projects, and volunteer matching.

Feeding America provides family service resources, food-drive guidance, and ways to connect with local food banks.

And remember: always contact an organization before showing up with children. Age requirements, privacy policies, safety rules, and volunteer opportunities vary widely, particularly for shelters, foster-care organizations, domestic violence programs, healthcare settings, and animal shelters.

The goal isn’t to drag your kid somewhere and make them help. The goal is to build service into the way they understand being human.

Start somewhere. Pick one.

Put the phone down. Go support your community.

❤️ Terica